Our Adoption Journey

Three False Starts

As we begin new relationships with those we encounter along our adoption journey, we find ourselves retracing our steps over the past year, sharing our tale. I realized I’ve not chronicled some of these stories in writing and should do so for future remembrance.

So, where to start? I suppose it’s best to start at the beginning and continue till the end… Or, seeing as how the story has not reached its conclusion, at least continue until current events. To that end, we will begin with…

Once upon a time a man and a woman became best friends and fell in love. They got married in the Fall, surrounded by the vibrant colors of autumn. By Spring, they thought they were expecting a baby so they paid a visit to the doctor.

Alas, it was not so. And here the tale takes what is, for some, a sad turn. The young couple were informed that it was very unlikely that they would ever conceive. Oddly enough, though, this news didn’t make this particular couple sad at all. You see, this couple serves the living God, the Great I Am, the Trinity – Father, Son, and Holy Ghost – and knows that ALL things are possible with God. They trust in His timing and trust that the plans that God has for them are good.

So, the young couple lived many years in happiness together and had great fun with their nieces, nephews and their friends’ children. They discussed the possibility of adopting children, but the time just wasn’t right and the idea faded into the recesses of their memory.

One very big day, they packed up everything they owned and made a long journey to a new home. As much as they loved their old home, they were overjoyed when they arrived at their new home and loved it ten times more than the old. Now the time was right.

They applied to an adoption agency and were assigned to a wonderful social worker. Their social worker met with them to discuss the steps of adoption and to ascertain what sort of parents they would be. She inspected their home to be sure it was a safe environment for a child to live in. Afterwards, the young couple began gathering many documents for the social worker – birth certificates, marriage license, driver’s licenses, social security cards, fingerprints and background checks, etc. Finally, all the documents were compiled, and the Home Study was complete!

In the beginning of the Home Study process, it was necessary to make some choices. The couple chose to adopt Internationally. With that choice made, they had to determine which country to adopt from. With much difficulty and deliberation, they ultimately decided to adopt from India. However, this was not the plan God had for them and it did not take too very long before God re-ordered their steps.

You see, they chose to adopt Internationally because they wanted to protect themselves from the heartbreak of bringing a child into their home only to have the child taken from them. It was too risky. Too painful to even consider. But then…

They were approached about adopting the unborn baby of a girl who lived near them. Without hesitation, they agreed to do so. The young couple visited with a lawyer and were warned about the possibility of this being a false start. But how could they not help someone who had come to them in need? So, the couple met with their social worker and had her change all of their paperwork so that they could pursue a Domestic adoption.

As it turns out, it did indeed end up being a false start. There was never much of a start at all, as the girl never called again. The young couple wished her the best and prayed she would receive the help she needed to raise her baby in a healthy, loving environment.

There would be two more false starts before the Home Study was even complete. The second one was another expectant mother who reached out to find adoptive parents for her unborn child. The third was a disruption that was referred to the young couple by their social worker. They didn’t get far at all with either situation, which thankfully means no resources were lost or wasted. The first two cases were good learning experiences for them in that they were shown the importance of working with an agency. Choosing adoption is a difficult thing for an expectant mother, and if she is considering such a choice, it is vital for her well-being that she receive counseling. Agencies work to provide such services for expectant mothers.

The young couple also decided that they wanted an advocate in this journey, and so, once the Home Study was complete, they signed a contract with Faithful Adoption Consultants. Now, they are working on putting together a profile book to be shown to expectant mothers considering adoption. They are about to begin applying for grants to help offset the costs of adoption, and are exploring other ways to pay for the expenses. They are ever hopeful that they will soon be united with their child (or children), but also know that however long the wait, however many hoops must be jumped, their children are worth every difficulty, every stressor.

This young couple may have had three strikes, but they’re not out!

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