All Things Horses, Our Adoption Journey, Saving Grace

Changing hearts, changing lives…

Bucolic Evening

A wise man once said, “The only constant is change.”

Changes that I could never have foreseen in my own life have been coming to fruition within the past year. Before we knew we were moving from Texas, we had 11 horses, a growing herd of cows, and we thoroughly enjoyed our life on the ranch. We had no intentions of ever leaving our homeland. Then one thing on top of another began to pile up in our lives and, like the drought sucking all the moisture from the pastures, slowly sapped all the desire we had in us to stay. With no real clue where we might end up, we began to prepare for the move we could feel God calling us to make. A year in advance we began culling our herd, culling the “stuff” from our home and lives. We even moved into a 5th wheel, to be ready to move at a moment’s notice.

When we finally got the call to transfer to Kentucky, it was a dream come true. We had visions of post and rail fencing around a small horse farm filled with rolling hills and rippling bluegrass (much like the above photo found on Flickr). We began to draw up barn plans and scout property. We found an Amish builder. We just knew that within a few months of making the move, we’d have our beautiful barn ready and we’d be on our way back to Texas to retrieve our remaining beloved horses.

Then something big happened.

God completely changed the desires of our hearts.

In ten years of blissful marriage, we had failed in one thing – to have children. We had discussed adoption before, but never followed through. Our house was always full of nieces, nephews, friends’ children. We wanted children, but it was always something we put off for the future. Then, suddenly, we make this move and are surrounded by a community and Church family that is always talking about adoption. Everywhere we go there is someone who is in the process of adoption, has already adopted, was adopted.

We could feel God tugging at our hearts, saying “Now. Now is the time.”

So, we scrapped all of our previous plans and immediately began looking for a house so that we could get the process started. Any other time and we’d have real estate agents blowing our phones up, but oddly enough, we could get no replies to all the voicemail and email messages we left concerning houses we were interested in looking at.

Wait.

I take that back.

We DID get two replies. One reply turned us down because our dogs are too large. The other reply turned us down because we have too many (3) dogs.

I was ready to pull my hair out. How can we ever get the adoption process started if we can’t even find a home for the kids? Then, just as He taught me to let go of my homeland, God showed me I had to let go of even this. He once again showed me that when my desires line up with His desires, He provides all that is needed. More than that. He shows up and shows out!

I had given up and put it all out of my mind. Sometime later, I was walking in to work and a co-worker who had made the move with me struck up a conversation. She knew someone who was retiring that had a house I would absolutely love and they would be putting it up for rent soon. She gave me their number. And you know what? They actually answered on the first ring! And they were okay with our dogs! AND we could see the house tomorrow!

Until we decided to follow through with adoption, I had had no desire to move out of our 5th Wheel – I was a gypsy, ready to go wherever the wind blows. I couldn’t imagine loving a house as much as I loved my camper.

Then tomorrow came.

I walked through the front door and knew I was home.

Every detail fit us to a tee – from the hardwood floors, to the stone fireplace, to the colors on the walls. The heritage of this home is our own – from the company posters and emblems left in the office (I’m a second-generation employee of the same company as our Landlord), to the Bible verses written inside the walls, to the very core of the original building as a Post Office (my husband’s mom, both grandmothers and grandfather are retired from the Post Office). This is home. Thank you, Jehovah-jireh!

Eight months later, we’re waiting for our homestudy to be completed and approved. We’re down to one last horse to sell – the one I never thought I’d ever be able to part with. We’re still trying to sell our fabulous horse trailer. So much change has happened. So much change is still to come. It can be so easy to allow it to overwhelm us, to allow our hearts to ache for what was. But when God has been so good, SO GOOD… I KNOW the plans He has for us, and it’s greater than anything we could ever imagine.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

And for this reason, I will lift up my eyes and keep them on my Savior, “in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through faith in Him,” (Ephesians 3:12) knowing that He is “able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think.” (Ephesians 3:20)

God has good things in store for us. Our children our coming soon, and He has good things in store for them, too. What about you? Are your desires His desires?   James 4 tells us “you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.” “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”

Draw near to God. Draw near to Him and see what He won’t do for you!

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4 thoughts on “Changing hearts, changing lives…

  1. Thanks for sharing this. It’s courageous to put your heart out there on this matter. I may be miles apart geographically but my heart is with you both. We’ve recently come through quite a journey ourselves in this area. Your hope will be rewarded!

  2. Thank you so much for your encouragement! It can be so easy to lose patience and get discouraged if we take our eyes off God and allow ourselves to become overwhelmed by all the details. It always helps to remind myself of all that He has done for us in the past, to be encouraged in what I know He will do for us in the future!

  3. What a beautiful post. God really does amaze us with His plan. Doesn’t He? All He needs is our yes and then He comes in and does marvelous things. Said a little prayer for you and your adoption process. God bless you both.

    • Thank you so much! We are anxiously awaiting the last set of Background checks to arrive to complete our Home Study… as soon as that happens, we are hoping to be only a few months away from meeting our children. Hoping, hoping, hoping. God bless you, too!!

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